No matter what room he’s in.

And it’s not his fault, as a person. It’s the writers at WWE. And it’s not just them, either – it’s the guys running the company who are too afraid to try anything new that doesn’t involve John Cena on top of the company. These two factors combined, though, create some of the laziest and most awful writing in professional wrestling.

Tonight, John Cena saved Rey Mysterio from a post-match beating from Alberto Del Rio. This, after Del Rio had successfully defended his title against Rey and won WITHOUT any shenanigans. John Cena makes the save and rips Del Rio apart for being a coward by winning the title in a shifty way. Never mind the fact that the same thing has happened with everyone who has ever won a Money In The Bank briefcase, excluding Rob Van Dam who announced his match weeks in advance.

Cena tells Del Rio that there’s no honor in the way he won the title, despite the rules of the MITB briefcase clearly stating that you can win the title at any time. He also tells Del Rio that he’s going to have to defend the title ONE DAY, and things won’t go so well for him. One day? Like, this day? Three minutes ago, where he just successfully defended the title? And did so with no interference?

Do the writers even pay attention to the show that they’re putting together?

Let’s not forget that Cena wasn’t even the guy who was pinned by Del Rio last night. It was CM Punk – and Punk, at the start of the show, said that he had no hard feelings against Del Rio. He was just doing what anyone else would do and what Punk had done twice in the past. So, John Cena, the guy who lost to CM Punk and, thus, was NOT a champion finds himself cheated and furious when the ACTUAL champion is pinned by a guy who had previously earned his shot in an 8-man ladder match?

What the fuck?

This isn’t the first instance of Cena’s Stupidity, either. When Shawn Michaels ran out of money and had to work for JBL to feed his family, Cena tried to rally behind HBK. He told him, “YOU STILL GOT IT!” – as if it were ever in question. The storyline wasn’t that Michaels was second-guessing his abilities in the ring – it was that he was broke and was begrudgingly working for a jerk billionaire.

Not the mention the way Cena likes to just turn things around on himself all of the time, or the way he likes to ignore stipulations. Like the time he was defeated by Wade Barrett and would then be fired from WWE. He gave a tear-jerking speech about finally getting to spend time with his family, and then… showed up the next week? And the week after that? And so on and so forth until he found himself hired again?

What kind of role model is this for kids watching the show? A loud-mouthed idiot who doesn’t follow the rules and ignores stipulations when he doesn’t like the way they affect him?

I’m not asking a lot from professional wrestling. Lord knows the guys who run WWE aren’t setting the world on fire by crafting intricate storylines driven by emotion or character or even common sense. But is it too much to ask to have a little bit of logic in my pro wrestling?